Thoughts of a Clown

hey i'm back!! never thot i'd blog again once i got back to hall rite? well, here i am...at ur service...

well, went to the DFS near pacific plaza on sunday...didya know that they have an escalator esp for tourist who come to the DFS from the back entrance? it goes straight to the level with all the branded shit...i call it the "Mai Tu Liao" level...

"The tourists are here!!!"

"Quick get them on the Mai Tu Liao escalator to the MTL level! Mai Tu Liao!! We gotta suck them dry!!!"

Any tourists that try to resist and explire the rest of DFS first will get cobbered over the head with a giant Merlion and sent on the MTL escalator anyway. The stuff up there is crazy...ferragmo, gucci and all that shit...itz really quite scary...

You see children strewn at the wayside (couches and seats) and grandpas sleeping around while mothers excitedly scamper around (like derian) and shop their heads off.
The fathers reluctantly remove the lock from their wallets and suddenly they get excited when they reach the men's section (or the lingerie section). The watch section is quite well stocked i must say. They even have casio! the only thing they lack is an electronics section.

I'm thinking of investing in an Iriver MP3 playa...got lobang tell me hor...

hey check this out...go to google, type "weapons of mass destruction" and then hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button....hilarious....

haha...notice that our disinfected friend always has a penchant for being the noble, straight up hero in all his quizilla quizzes? First Neo then Nemo....eh wait....they're almost alike!! U're cheating!!!! Kelf is cheating!!!!! hahahahaha...kidding man. But i must say, i really do think ur character suits those 2..heh......u were almost CRUSHED i hear....wahahah...look at the entry below this one....sheesh....anywayz....

Been having Subway for breakfast these past few weeks (not everyday of course!!) Them sandwiches are really damn good loh...plus itz nutritious. If I had my way, i'd eat subway alot alot alot alot. My personal fave is the Italian BMT DOUBLE MEAT!!!!! DOUBLE MEAT!!! ya so gotta try the double meat.... it'll rock ur world....

howz matric maze guys? heard that 49 people signed up so far...not bad lah...was expecting less...then again, there's still one more day to go. Personal goal for this orientation, wat say we try and get all of the unattached ones attached...hahahahahaa...that'll be funny.

"Mark, u wanna play this game?"

"No!!!! Of course not! Not if it involveds girls! If it does, get ***** and ***** to play it. They're especially good with girls...."

Then again, it might not work.....

TIme to leave the place that i've been working at for 2 mths. Damn, working really makes ya miss hall. Am i sick or wat? hahaha..we're gonna spend another 6 mths there and i'm missing it. Btw, exams are coming!!! EXAM ARE COMING!!! then again, so is XMAS.

Ya wonder why they put up those lights along Orchard Road during Christmas. THey dun make money, they use up electricity, they cost money to put up and take down. The only contribution is that they make town brighter, so you don't knock into more people. But then again, their arms, feet and hands are armed with plastic bags full of goodies, that there is no way you can avoid them. Betcha didnt know 30% of Singporeans claim to be Santa Claus....or are at least close to him by the amt of shopping they do during Christmas.

I went shopping once, during the peak season of CHristmas, I must say...those aunties out there are fairly strong. Not only can they carry their multiple packages, they can wrestle you outta the way, and use another hand (that comes out from nowhere) to view and inspect the goods. Really quite amazing. Wonder if they have classes for this in the Community Clubs.

"Shop like a true champion - multi tasking for Aunties"

Ok...i'm tired of blogging for the day....lousy blog...but i never intended to write anything down...jus that google thing...haha...later

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

duuuude...u were like whoooooa...jellyman!!!
hahahaha

haha..i've jus spread the blogging disease to a new frd...this is getting contagious..'sette, u're rite..u jus run outta ideas after a while....u cant live up to the expectations of ur fans....nooooooo....*wither and die*

So, me and me X-roomie gotta be hosts for SP nite...hmmm..havent done that kinda thing in a while..wonder how it'll tunr out. I'm sure we'll have some fun..heh heh...not only with the Fleshies but also our friends. This is gonna be interesting man. Wonder wat games we gonna make them play? We'll add our own touch of course.

"Rite, now the game u're supposed to play is charades. U act and the audience guesses. *whispers* Your word is 'ignouranus'....... Go ahead!! Act away!"

how about a part 3 to The Story??

Our fearless freedom fighters from the fiery flames of Flamenco flails had finally defeated the evil Sexy Seb in our last episode. But here, they faced a new opponent. One that had new skills and new IQ levels! DA BEAR!!!!

*cue Bear Vader music*

Before u know it, our heroes were transported into a Star Wars set. "Seems like our budget has gone up" Chimp-bacca commented.

"They must have like our first outing. Leta make this another runaway, over-hyped, more action, less brain sequel!!" Hans So-Hole said with gusto.

"But my lightsaVer doesnt work. I think itz a flourascent lamp." Puke Clownz-walker stated while shaking a tube covered with cellophane paper.

Nevertheless, the motley crew got around to work, making their way steathily through the Bear-Star. Everywhere smelt of smoke..... "heard that he was once part of the Chimneys.. decided to break free and make the whole world smoke Pall Mall. That's bad." So-Hole updated the rest.

"Can't be as bad as smoking a Camel..." Puke said. The 3 of them stopped for a well-deserved giggle.

"We need weapons" Chimp-bacca pointed out.

"Hey, are u crying?" Asked So-Hole.

"No!! I'm not!! It's all this goddamn smoke!!" Chimp-bacca exclaimed.

"Shuddup..someone's coming.." Puke whispered as he peered around the corner. Through the smoke, they saw a few shadows approaching. As they got closer, the smoke got thicker. Before long, our heroes identified the shadow. Princess Lis-eia.

"Awww great. Can we get another damsel in distress? This jus makes the job harder." One of our heroes exclaimed.
"There's no way we're gonna find her in all that smoke." Treacherous grounds i say.

But still, they HAD to save her becoz the script called for it. Soon, they found their way to an armoury. Lighters and ciggies filled the walls. "Dun they have any proper weapons here?"

"Howz this?" Chimp said. He had found a fire extinguisher.

"Great!! We'll need a few more and some gas masks and some...." So-Hole was cut off as the door was busted down.

Our heroes were discovered!!! So they began to fight the Bear-troopers. Smoking like crazy, the Troopers began to blow the tracherous gas in our heroes direction. All except Puke Clownz-walker got their masks on in time and began to use the electric fans they found to blow the smoke away. Meanwhile Puke was left coughing and retching in a corner. How apt.

With the smoke advantage gone, the Troopers were left with no choice but to engage in hand-to hand combat. This was a mistake. With rigourous training, So-Hole and Chimp-bacca were among the best in their aspect. They made short work of the Troopers with a series of leg kicks, groin smashes and head locks. No prob. But they failed to take into account the 2nd patrol lighting up at the back. Panting and Pespiring, the 2 of them would not be able to stand the smoke onslough again.

But Puke Clownz-walker to the rescue!! With a mighty swipe of his fire extinguisher, the Troopers caught a mouthful of foam and it was their turn to puke and retch. "Payback's a bitch...." Clownz said as he stood over them.

"Hey that makes a pretty good tagline." Hole said

"Ok!! That'll be our tagline for our stories!!" Chimp added....

Payback's a bitch.....fork....=P

eating Gloden shoe nasi now....do u know wat a deal they gif? For the cheap price of $2.50, u get rice, cucumber, chilli, chicken DRUMSTICK, sausage, sotong biah and egg!!! wah lauz! we've been ripped off! Derian, next time buy supper go Golden Shoe
hahahahaha...

i discovered there's alot of office politics in the office that i work in. Some people dun like some other people, who in turn like the people that they think they dun like. One time i got confused and invited someone that the people dun like to lunch. Tell me how not to get confused??

By the way, here are a few rumors u can spread:

"Did you hear about xxx? i heard she eat Golden Shoe Nasi..." *hint hint to Derian*

Anywayz... that day i was back in my NEW CLEAN room, when i heard bangra music blasting from the corridor. T'was my new neighbour....great...luckily it soon turned to Linkin Park. I really dunno...i'm gonna be surrounded by people i dunno...like Hole pointed out. Everyone else is AFTER the lounge, while we're in front of it. Hope this works out.

I STILL havent watched Amazing Race..not even one episode...i can't believe myself. Even tonite i'll have a meeting and i cant watch...dammit..
Well, everytime i watch it i wonder wwat it'll be like to run the Amazing Race. I'd definetly win i tell u, becoz i got a few ideas up my sleeve.

1. Pretend itz Survivor and spread vicious rumours about Team A checking out Team B's butts. This will definetly work if Team A is gay (there are ALWAYS gays in Amazing Races) and TEam B are jocks. Another thing, why are there always gays? The way i see it, itz to make the male teams run faster, to prevent traffic slamming into them from 'behind'.

2. Run very fast when the first leg starts then hide along alleyways to scare the other contestants. (i think i had too much Third Prophecy) Even if this doesnt win u the race, u're guarunteed tv time. Another option if u're taking CEE is to build obstacles for the other contestants to cross. See? A game within a game. Winning fomula

3. Steal other people's air tickets and save money. Target the elderly lady team becoz they'll have trouble catching u while u run scot free to the boarding area. Make money while earning another cool million.

4. Here's a real one. Prepare tags that say "petrol only" and replace the "diesel only" on jeeps that u haf to drive. Make sure u're first to the jeep area so that u can knock the camera man out and do the deed. When he comes round, tell him he fainted after an eagle shat on his head. "He must eaten a cow or something"

5. Call the cops and say that the elderly ladies stole your airplane tickets.

6. At the exit of a train, just before the door opens, let off a loud fart. Be sure to say sorry while you get a well deserved head start.

7. Buy Golden Shoe Nasi to bring along and eat.

8. Set everyone else's alarm clock back 30 mins. If you're caught, say you were trying to set it earlier so that they would win. Let off another fart to ensure they lapse back into unconciousness.

I fear that once school starts i may not have the time to write this kinda nonsense. Or mebbe i'll have more to say. We'll have to wait and see then. After all, most crap happens in school rite? On to my last week of PA then! woo hoo!

I kinda left a real mess for the next occupant of my big double room. Heh... oh well, i'll jus act mighty embaressed when he comes looking for me. No offence Kelvin, but i think we left our 419 room in better state than the current one.

PA's gonna end soon, in about 1.5 weeks time. Not soon enough if u ask me. But then again, i'm not exactly looking forward to go back to school. See? Ccaught between a rock and a hard place. Why can't I be a professional CS player? Dammit.

Bought a packet of werther's original yesterday man! Boy are they good! "The classic candy made with real butter and fresh cream" Why can't they have more happening names for sweets?

Monkey Crap Pellets: Guarunteed whiff of satisfaction.

Jalapeno Sweeties: Green Goblet of Flame

And watz all this crap about Hary Potter? He's jus a nerd with a few magic powers! Bah phooey...people actually lining up to pre-order their pre-ordered books so that they can get the books first. The only reason I can see to pre-order a book is that if u're a slow reader. That way, when everyone finishes the book, you'll have also. Then u can actually join the many many Harry Potter forums on the Net that talk about what magic powers he SHOULD have (X-ray vision...he he he) and how he and Simeone (or watever her name is...sounds like that Argentine midfielder i say) should ditch the fat klutz and start an off season project together with Universal studios.

I went and got myself sorted on the website by that counfounded hat becoz i wanted to find out the name of the girl but i got myself into SLytherin.....ah.....apprentice Fugger...how does that sound? Nice ring to it huh? haha..

I really dunno wat to say in this blog and i'm jus typing watever comes to mind. Anybody want me to comment on anything? Jus tell me man, i'll gladly share my ideas about that subject.

I'll go eat more Werther's now....The classic candy that.....bah, read above....

Btw, shout out to Marc Vivien Foe.... shocking news.....peace to him and his family

Aha! I'm back....well, gonna be goin outta the office quite often now so less time at the comp. I jus realised that trying to handle OC and PA at the same time is a heckuva hassle. Take me away now!!!

Ever wonder what dogs are thinking when they look at u?

"Hahaha...this is another idiot who thinks he can act cute in front of me. I'll jus continue to look at him just to goad him on."
Notice most people like to act cute in front of their dogs. Saw a couple of them at East Coast on Sunday. There was this lady who was wiping the paws of her dog becoz it had sand on it. Wtf?? watz it gonna do? swallow the sand? Choke and die?? Perhaps share it with a few friends and get high... Itz jus sand for goodness sake.

Another tip, DO NOT go to ECP on a Sunday like last week. Mass orgy everywhere. The only plus point was that i saw a lot of people falling down....heh heh heh.,...that made my day. My bro tells me that there was this little malay boy that was cycling at 1.5 cm/hr and suddenly he swerved out. Straight into the line of an oncoming speedist. The guy managed to avoid the little boy jus in the nick of time by slamming brakes and swerving almost 90 degrees. Now that's wat i call reflexes. Skill-ded!!

Some things u can do a the beach :

- Stand on the break water, strategically picking out the couple that looks most likely to make out. Simply stand there and pretend to enjoy the view. Move on if u spot another likely candidate. If this couple starts to kiss, move closer for a betta look. U may be able to pick up a few pointers from them. If any one of them asks "Do u mind?", reply "No...sure, go ahead." And continue looking nonchalant abt it.

- Run along the beach, skipping like a faggot and singing to urself. Suddenly, stop and try to stomp on some kid's castle. Make sure the facial expression change is visible to all. After finishing off the last remnants, change back to a faggot and ask if u can play with him/ her.

- Rent a bicycle and tell urself ur objective today is to be a road hog. Works the best with a few people. Remember to occupy the entire side of the cycling lane. Go slowly and appear unstable. If possible, flail ur arms around and hit a few people. Say sorry while crashing to the ground. Most of the time, they'll let u off. Can be tried with blades too.

- Ride a tricycle along the whole of ECP. Guarunteed publicity on Channel News Asia. Wear a tu-tu.

- Play soccer on the grass patch and try to hit beginner bladers/ cyclists. The objective is to hit them and not appear to do it on purpose. 10 pts for making bladers stumble, 20 for cyclists. 50 for a blader wipe out and 100 for cyclist wipe out. To be played in teams of 4. The more passes u pull off between each other, multiply the pts by the number of passes.

(Angry guy jus pulverized his comp. Hope they give him a type writer instead)

- Play hide n seek among the tents that are readily available for u. Duck into a random one and hide among their bags. When they come in to drag u out, ask them to do it quietly so ur frd wun find u.

- Ask the bicycle shop for a unicycle.

- Blade into Macs and then crash into the counter. Make sure u flip over the counter. I'm sure all of u haf always wondered exactly what lies behind a Macs counter........ dun bluff..... Say u're alrite then try to steal a few burgers.

- Pour sand on tai-tais dogs.

- wallow in self pity and sit by the seaside, contemplating diving in and never coming back. Thinking abt how much ur life sux and how u wld so muhc want to lead someone else's life. Think abt all ur troubles and how u cannot solve them. Think abt running away foreva and eva so that no one can disturb u. Then get up and run head first into a tree, trying to knock down some fruits becoz u are thirsty.

Yeh....seniors camp coming...die liaoz...